You know... there are days that you just know, from the moment you open your eyes and breathe, is the perfect beginning of a bad bad day.

Well today was it. If i can say, it sucked bad. I super hated the feeling of it.

I said the wrong things, did the wrong things and i basically have a word in my mind. FAIL.
So i tried making up for it and tried to get myself back together.

I guess God can use a person who has a listening ear, is honest, has God-given wisdom, gives great advises, thinks positive and doesnt judge, can change things. like now i know la! thanks so much..

So i just shared and said what i felt and cleared things up. Thank God and Thank God for you, friend.

today i thought of these

i wonder who my real friends are
why do i feel that im not likable
why is it that when i try it goes to waste

i dont like it now.

very few people bother asking.
i hope that it'll change soon enough...

i feel overwhelmed. i often feel like i'm not up to it or at least like i'm always procrastinating..

know i've got to start doing something somewhere. Just feel like there's alot of stuffs in my life now and i need to prioritise. also thank God that i was woken up and had a new revelation of who god is to me and how god has been doing in my life. it's like a new season with new challenges that i have to face..

i am grateful, humbled and i am learning how to desire god more.

everyday eat kinder bueno! woohoo. best chocolate wafer in the world...


ok la so lately i've finally had my go at photography.. i mean like long ago i've always wanted to do photography. i just dont have a proper camera to do so. handphone cameras just wont do la.. you know what i mean? haha

so yes. i've gotten my dad's SLR camera that he loved like his baby to use.. i got it serviced and i went to take some shots with jiajun :)

so i guess it's going to by my thing from now till i pass on or God returns. whichever happens first. thanks honey. you've been a great girlfriend and you are a great support! i love you.


here's where you can view my pictures - www.flickr.com/greenwhitestripes

There is this person whom i met during my service to the nation. its strange as the person just didn't react the same way. sure this person is very human, with temper and all, but this person has something that taught me and changed me. in a good way of course..

so this person, on the first day when we met, greeted me and gave me a warm welcome.. shook my hands and smiled at me. i still remember clearly when this person said, dont worry.. you'll know that things are very different here and we are very nice people.

at that point i didnt believe of course. as usual.... we humans just like to test things out.

after a few days past.. i began to realise i'm indeed quite lucky, being in that place under this person's charge.. i began working hard for this person, helping this person in everything, learning from this person how to analyse situations and having a goal and solution to things we face.

as time passed by, this person began asking about my family, my life, my relationships and myself... it's different when people just ask you to do things and never had the intention of building a relationship or bond. although this person is much more senior than me, i was treated like a son, a junior. this person would rebuke me and scold me if i didnt behave gentlemanly... this person would say, "cannot! how can you treat your girlfriend this way?"

this person always spared a thought for my well being, my thoughts and my feelings. i have a girlfriend and this person understood the ability of how the relation with esther can affect my mood and emotions. i was always in favor and blessed. i was given time off, day offs and even chances to go off at 12pm from camp on weekdays. ?????? what the??? right? haha..

we worked hard, worked late and worked together importantly.

i learnt the most out of this few weeks, although i dont do much. i learnt the importance of love and relationships. of bonds. i learnt how to be a good boyfriend, a good husband to be.

this person is a good husband, a good father and a good man.

He is not a Christian, sadly. But here is someone who knew the virtues of living, and someone who succeeded in being human and bigger than life in an organisation like this. i thank him, i am blessed by him.

His name is Maran.






alright.. so the story ends..

haha my week is not bad la. this week do nothing much watch dvd.. cock up la RP.. i learn nothing. most of the time.. haha.. and thanks sweetheart. its almost a year and i'm so excited. and im so glad. its going strong and though its never smooth, its the process of shaping.

i love you honey. always.. <3

this moment seem so long,
dont waste your precious time.

its another day, where you seem to find yourself on the bad side of people's perception.

squeezed so tightly, this moment seem so long.
dont waste your precious time.

its not that i do not have defence. i just am tired..

move down to me if you want to, let me slip into you.


ok la, truthfully.... today is like a winding road. taking me to places where i didn't want to go..
its like juggling a ball and playing drums at the same time. you try your best but you don't succeed..

poised.. towards a picture. i cannot be paralyzed.. i can still move. i can still pick up where i left off. i'm only human.

the reasons for these seasons.

well, here we are again.. i think its not right that we face crap all the time. i think its not right that we dont face it at all too.

but how come? i kept asking why why why. i dont hear any replies. i dont... i asked. i discussed. i dont get any replies. i dont..
thats ok la.. i thought to myself. thats alright.

people began doubting me, people dont belief me.

its ok if they are strangers. but i realised it hurts the most when they are your family.

it hurts even more, when you tried so hard. but it just wont work. it hasnt.. thats sucks.. alot.

love doesnt require anything in return. love is free.
love is not a form of insane games to play with
love has no grudges and no ill intentions.
love is a choice, freedom to choose
love is not selfish and not bliss
love has no condemnation
love is Jesus Christ
i love you, dear.

yours always,
xiang xiang

i want to thank ESTHER! cause the very nice picture you see on top... is made by her. ha ha.



thank you sweetie. i love you. alot.


thanks for taking your time to do something.. and thank you for all your efforts. keep at it.

life is a journey. sit in my car. ill drive you.

i will take up my cross and follow..

Lord will you lead me?

i will take up my cross and follow wherever you go.






makes sense right? and think of the things that will happen after that.


wherever God will go. we follow.

and now.... the pre-new year post. ha ha.. and also its zech's birthday. im glad im the first to wish him. just to let him know he means something to me. special leh..


and also. i love you esther. cause you're more than special. moouacks! ha ha.. and just to thank you for all your support and all your care and concern la. i know how its been like for you :) and i dont blame you for anything. hee.. ok? know that i'll always be here for you and will stand by you throughout everything.


so here's a merry christmas and a happy new year to you guys


cheers to 07'

x)

God will not put you through that of which you cannot bear,

and for every season, there's a reason.






suck thumb smile and just do it, excellently and patiently.

The Potter has His Hands on you. always

i wont give up, i will hang on and i will be standing by you :) thank God and i love you dearie. it's been the best time. heh.. take care of yourself ok.

i love YOU.

It's not easy but who GIVES???? ha ha.

I've set my heart and its backed by God.

You can count on me :) cause we're in this together.

hang on tight ya, in time to come. you'll see the goodness. the sweetness. the rewards...

that it's the happiest time of our lives. i love you girl, always.




yours always,
xiang xiang <3

happy 4 months! i love you!

this past 4 months ah. i think i've never felt more blessed. life is good la. but then you're the big big big bonus. you know? haha its really fast right? and also.. i think we've been through quite abit for a short 4 months. and we've learnt and grown alot together.

remember that night when i asked you. haha.. memories. so yes, we got to that place again today. and ya i loved it. short while also love it. since then i've never looked back.

how do you know if we're the right one for each other? cause we CHOSE each other. muack!

i know in the coming months and years ahead, its only going to get better. thank you for your love. let me LOVE you.

its field camp this weekend. means im spending my birthday in the jungle. hahaha.. its here. it finally is here. i never thought it would happen to me. haha.


nothing to say.

but then! got things for you dear. while i cant talk to you like how i always do everyday, please take care of yourself ok? along the way you'll find it hard, tough and irritating. but then the sun always sets. so a new day will come. see the sun set 6 times only can see me already. heh..


i love YOU and i thank YOU for everything! so when you're feeling out of it or miss me like how i miss you alot alot alot. haha come read this post again.

remember to pursue God when you're in need of anything. He's the one who's going to pull you through. when it gets tough, pray and let God hold your hand to guide you, lift you and support you.


so i'll see you in 2 wks time. take good care of yourself. remember to cover! heh. and study hard. go home early ok? do what you think is right. you know me well enough :) heh x)


I LOVE YOU TO BITS GIRL! ALWAYS!


yours always,
xiang xiang <3

Hello! it's been such a joy and blessing la. you are an angel you know?
to have you in my life and especially now. people say will past quick. but i know i want it to past quick and fruitfully la.
let us grow in our love and relationship with each other ok?
you never fail to put a smile on my face girl.
i love you all my life and forever
will be praying you and loving you forever dearie.
ever since it started i've never looked back.
cause i know you didnt too.
i commit to you. and love to see you smile
i want to marry you. dont care. haha..
just remember what we have. and you'll do fine. when i take the place of your memories! x)
I LOVE YOU, ALWAYS!

yours always,
xiang xiang <3>

so yes, its time to enlist into the army. i am very happy, anxious, excited and asphyxiated to be able to serve my country!


NOT!

but anyways.. i do feel quite weird. like its in my face right now. so ill just want to thank a certain few people..



LIFEGROUP - you guys really did alot for me. and i am very touched. the dinner, the next dinner, suppers and bowling.. just making time for me. meeting up with me just to hang out.. supporting me.. whatever it is, i just want to thank you guys. really appreciate it alot.. thanks for the calls, the advises, the love and the spirit. i love you all.


CHURCH - thanks guys and girls, i really appreciate it alot. the messages, the dinners, the talks and the chit chats.. very nice of you people. sometimes i feel like nobody bothers. but i guess im wrong :) so yes. thanks again! be strong and live prosperously.. serve well. serve people..


ESTHER - hey hey, thank you for everything. you've been a great support and i really appreciate it alot. you've shown great strength and love to me. you always try your best to make me feel better. and you bother to understand me.. its been such a joy to see you grow and to be your boyfriend. thank you for your efforts and concerns. the gifts were really perfect.
so.. no fear! its just a new season now, things will change and it will be tough. but its what we're going to make out of it that counts in future.. i know i've screwed up at times.. but we'll grow ya!! we'll learn along the way :) my love for you wont change so you can rest assured. i promise.. i love YOU girl, always. think of it as a day closer to marriage :D thanks for all the fun and happy times. and thanks for all the down and sad times too. the anxious times and the nua times.





tk care of each other, love people..

if you read this please let others know too. so they can read x) thanks!

time has come to enter into a new season..

till then i have things yet unsettled and i dont want to have to think about it when im away on an island not being able to do anything.

it's been pretty hard lately, with this ongoing thing always bugging me. i cant really put in words what it is.

but i got the answer from a movie we watched x) how do we get closer? God gives us closeness?


noooo wrong ans.

we get put into situations that will help us. so yes, please be positive! work things out together..




i love you. and you guys..

a right place to crap.

the most important factor is comfort.



must be air conditioned and quiet. with soft background music and occasional toilet spray..


i cannot crap in noisy and cramped up toilets hahah

why i try so hard? when my world caves in on me then i'll realise that im just as insignificant as when i first failed to exist.



hai.

felt like a dipshit on 8/8/07


dalton you remember today, and how it felt. cause you may never feel again.

its been more than a month. things have been good and bad.. but we grow. both ways :)

So, i have been thinking about how much time i havent been spending with the guys lately. and if some would think friendship is based on how often we see each other or how much time spent together and not. priorities got change la, its only a matter of time. not that i think its right to, just that its reality. but then wanting to keep the bonds close and actually doing it counts. right??? come on. if anyone is ever reading this. let me know so at least i know.

if acceptance is hard to come by? when we change how we live.. then again, i've realised how much i need my friends. and how much they care about me. one way or another.



so thanks for everything guys.


not taking anyone for granted..